


All Love Lost

by Grim Reaper Cultist (DeletedBecauseShy)



Series: Redemption Day AU [2]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Female Pronouns for Grell Sutcliff, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Multi, Redemption Day AU, Suicidal Thoughts, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28523154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeletedBecauseShy/pseuds/Grim%20Reaper%20Cultist
Summary: Redemption Day AU—All Reapers have a number on their wrist that counts down from 200 to 0 every year on their death day. When (if) it reaches 0, the Reaper is redeemed. This is normally cause for celebration. If, of course, anyone is left to celebrate with you.
Relationships: Mentioned Slingphries, Ronald Knox/William T. Spears/Grell Sutcliff
Series: Redemption Day AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089419
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	All Love Lost

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 1AM, I just finished writing this and just need to publish it. I’m so tired

Ron could feel the warmth of his partners beside him, could hear their individual heartbeats against the sound of wind outside. If he tried, he could probably count their remaining ones. 

The 24 on his wrist was a weight keeping him in bed next to them. They still had the rest of the day. Not that it seemed like enough time anymore. 

‘Think positively’, he thought, ‘they’re being redeemed. That’s an honour. You should be happy for them.’ The ideas stirred in his head like a windstorm.

He has no right to be sad when they’re the ones dying

He should be celebrating 

He’s bringing down the mood already

What right does he have to ruin their special day. He has no right to cry. 

By then, the tears are rolling down his cheeks and onto the pillow beneath him. He can feel Grell stir to his left; he arm wraps around his waist. 

Curse the 24 on his wrist. 

“Ronnie, baby, are you okay?” Her voice is like an angel’s song in his ear. It calms him down and sends him back into a panic all at once. How many more times will he hear it?

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. You getting up?” He tries to hide the quiver in his voice, the obvious sign of tears. 

“I am. Here, come with me, I’ll make coffee.” He lifts his head the promise of caffeine, revealing his red eyes and tear-stained face. “Oh, dearie. Come here, it’s okay. I promise you’ll be okay. Let’s go to the kitchen, we don’t wanna wake Will.” 

He follows her slowly, any attempt at words getting stuck in his throat. 

“Here, sit down.” She pulls out one of the stools before continuing over towards their old coffee maker. 

When the cup is set in front of him, he finally finds the ability to speak. “I’m just so scared. So, so scared. I can’t live without you two. And-and I feel so bad about being scared. I have no right, I mean-“ She cuts him off, unable to stand his self-pity any longer. 

“You have every right to be scared, dear. Even I’m petrified, honest. But, it’ll all be okay in the end. You’re a great Reaper and I just know you’ll keep being great, even without us.” They both know the other is thinking about Alan, about how he died so soon after Eric’s redemption. 

He would’ve also been a great Reaper too, even without Eric. But, he only lasted a year without the older man. Hell, there’s no way Ron can last half as long as Alan did. He’s just not strong enough. 

Still, Ron knows the least he can do is reassure his wife that he’ll be okay once she’s gone. He won’t, but he owes her a lie at the very least. He couples it with a weak smile. “It’s already almost noon. We should probably wake up Will. He wouldn’t want to miss his own...he wouldn’t want to miss this.” Ron is just looking for any excuse to leave the kitchen.   
—  
Will is with them in the kitchen less than half an hour later, still dressed in his pyjamas and with ruffled hair. 

There would be no party like there had been with Alan and Eric, no joyful celebration. Only their own small, personal time together filled the day’s schedule. 

It’s a day full of random games between the three of them that end in the board or cards being lost below the table when either Grell or Ron get bored. 

It’s a day full of sporadic naps where the only goal is to feel each other’s body heat and hear their heartbeat. 

It’s a day of lazily cooked meals that only Grell is actually interested in while her two boys sit at the table and watch her every move with fascination. 

It’s a day that ends in the three of them tucked under covers and rewatching their favourite movies. 

Will suggests an old spy movie, and so that’s what they watch. 

Grell suggests a cheesy romcom, and so that’s what they watch. 

Ron suggests an exciting action movie, and so that’s what they watch.   
—  
The three of them are comfy under the pile of blankets Grell insists on bringing with her, if a little warm. Especially Ron, who is sandwiched between the two elder Reapers to the point he isn’t sure he could move if he wanted to. 

There’s was a sound like a vacuum flicking on from far away before it happened. All of a sudden, where Ron had once been squished between his two partners, he sat alone. The bed was still warm on both sides, it suddenly felt too big. 

Their clothes sat there like mock-imitations of what once was. Two pairs of glasses that would never be worn again sat on pillows innocently. 

Ron’s eyes began to water, then he began to weep fully. There was no one left for him, no friends, no partners, no one. Eric, Alan, Will, Grell, all gone. He felt truly alone in their realm. 

24

His own death day passes two months after the new year. He celebrates alone. 

23

22

Twenty years ago, in September, Eric was redeemed. He misses him. 

21

20

He signs up to be a mentor for new Reapers and is put on a long list. 

19

18

Another Demon surfaces London for the first time in 9 years. It doesn’t appear to have a contract. 

17

16

It’s the year they should’ve lost Alan. He wishes there was someone there to talk to.

15

14 

He finally becomes a mentor to a young girl called Katherine. She’s nice, reminds him of people he knew long ago. 

13

12

Katherine becomes a great Reaper, he is proud of her. 

11

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

He wakes up on the fifth day of February as he had for the past two and a half decades, alone. 

The sadness had long since left him, allowing him to sit with the empty feeling alone, as always. 

Katherine visits for a few hours, wishing him well and congratulating him on what she assumes must be an exciting day. He only hopes hers is when it comes. 

Then, he’s alone again in the too-big house that only a Reaper like Will would ever be able to afford. There are still pictures of the three of them littered around the shelves and tables. 

Soon, he thinks, he will be with them soon. 

Apparently, there’s no vacuum-like noise when you are the one being redeemed. Only a sudden silence followed by the voices of those like you, happy voices. 

He looks around and sees a shock of red next to a line of black and white.

**Author's Note:**

> Head on over to my Kuro fandom blog on Tumblr for more of my stuff [Shinigami Dispatch Association ](https://shinigami-dispatch-association.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments and Kudos improve my declining mental health! ~<


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